{"id":150,"date":"2022-12-12T11:55:18","date_gmt":"2022-12-12T09:55:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/?p=150"},"modified":"2023-12-23T05:35:53","modified_gmt":"2023-12-23T03:35:53","slug":"ghid-de-gestionare-a-furiei","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/2022\/12\/12\/ghid-de-gestionare-a-furiei\/","title":{"rendered":"<strong>Ghid de gestionare a furiei<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Furia este un sentiment care ne face deseori s\u0103 \u00eei atac\u0103m \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eei r\u0103nim pe ceilal\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Furia este \u00eenso\u021bit\u0103 de schimb\u0103ri la:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">*<strong>nivel corporal<\/strong>(reac\u021bii fizice \u2013 c\u00e2nd suntem furio\u0219i corpul nostru se mobilizeaz\u0103 pentru ap\u0103rare sau atac).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&nbsp;* <strong>nivelul g\u00e2ndirii<\/strong> &#8211; c\u00e2nd suntem furio\u0219i ne g\u00e2ndim adeseori la planuri de r\u0103zbunare sau de \u201erevan\u0219\u0103\u201d(*<strong>g\u00e2nduri specifice<\/strong>: \u201eEi m\u0103 trateaz\u0103 incorect\u201d). C\u00e2nd suntem furio\u0219i ne concentr\u0103m pe c\u00e2t de \u201enedrept\u201d am fost trata\u021bi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">* <strong>nivelul comportamentului \u2013 <\/strong>reac\u021bii de ap\u0103rare, atac, argumentare, retragere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00e2t de furio\u0219i devenim \u00eentr-o anumit\u0103 situa\u021bie depinde de <strong>interpretarea pe care noi o d\u0103m<\/strong> semnifica\u021biei <strong>evenimentului <\/strong>respectiv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-table\"><table><tbody><tr><td><strong>G\u00e2nduri<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>St\u0103ri de spirit<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><tr><td>\u201eei m\u0103 r\u0103nesc\/amenin\u021b\u0103!\u201d \u201eei \u00eencalc\u0103 regulile!\u201d \u201eNu este corect!\u201d<\/td><td>Irascibil Sup\u0103rat Furios<\/td><\/tr><tr><td><strong>Comportamente<\/strong><\/td><td><strong>Semne fizice<\/strong><\/td><\/tr><tr><td>Ap\u0103rare\/\u00eempotrivire Atac\/Argumentare Retragere<\/td><td>Mu\u0219chi \u00eencorda\u021bi Tensiune arterial\u0103 mare Puls crescut<\/td><\/tr><\/tbody><\/table><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Furia poate fi o problem\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">a. fie c\u0103 este prea frecvent\u0103, dispropor\u021bionat\u0103, distructiv\u0103 \u2013 \u0219i atunci \u00eei r\u0103nim pe ceilal\u021bi<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">b. fie pentru c\u0103 lipse\u0219te \u2013 \u0219i atunci al\u021bii abuzeaz\u0103 de noi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dar, este normal s\u0103 ne sim\u021bim furio\u0219i uneori; furia este\/poate fi o reac\u021bie s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 \u0219i adaptiv\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Furia este asociat\u0103 cu<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" style=\"list-style-type:lower-alpha\">\n<li>O senza\u021bie de amenin\u021bare, pericol, suferin\u021b\u0103<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cu convingerea c\u0103 s-au \u00eenc\u0103lcat reguli importante<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cu impresia c\u0103 am fost trata\u021bi nedrept<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>C\u0103 am fost \u00eempiedica\u021bi s\u0103 ob\u021binem un lucru pe care ne a\u0219teptam s\u0103-l ob\u021binem.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cu \u00eenc\u0103lcarea a\u0219tept\u0103rilor pe care le avem<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Cu judec\u0103\u021bile proprii privind ceea ce este echitabil \u0219i corect.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">NB \u2013 1. Fiecare persoan\u0103 are opinii foarte diferite privind corectitudinea \u0219i echitatea!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">NB \u2013 2. Fiecare consider\u0103 c\u0103 a\u0219tept\u0103rile lui sunt \u201erezonabile\u201d iar a\u0219tept\u0103rile celuilalt sunt \u201enerealiste\u201d!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Furia apare, de regul\u0103, \u00een rela\u021biile apropiate \u2013 cu partenerul de via\u021b\u0103 sau cu colegii de munc\u0103.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Leg\u0103tura dintre Furie \u0219i Intimitate<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Fiecare dintre noi are multiple a\u0219tept\u0103ri de la rela\u021biile noastre de prietenie, de iubire, rela\u021biile profesionale etc. Cu c\u00e2t rela\u021bia noastr\u0103 cu cineva este mai intim\u0103, cu at\u00e2t cre\u0219te probabilitatea s\u0103 avem a\u0219tept\u0103ri mai mari de la persoana respectiv\u0103. Problema cu a\u0219tept\u0103rile nu ar fi o problem\u0103, dac\u0103 noi am \u0219ti s\u0103 le comunic\u0103m deschis \u0219i onest celorlal\u021bi, dac\u0103 am fi suficient de asertivi \u0219i de perseveren\u021bi cu aceste a\u0219tept\u0103ri sau nevoi ne\u00eemplinite. De multe ori, \u00eens\u0103, noi nu le spunem oamenilor despre a\u0219tept\u0103rile sau nevoile noastre fie pentru c\u0103 noi \u00een\u0219ine nu le con\u0219tientiz\u0103m, fie pentru c\u0103 presupunem c\u0103 cei apropia\u021bi ar trebui s\u0103 \u201eghiceasc\u0103\u201d ce a\u0219tept\u0103ri sau nevoi avem. \u0218i reac\u021bion\u0103m dup\u0103 ce consider\u0103m c\u0103 a\u0219tept\u0103rile, nevoile, sau drepturile noastre au fost \u00eenc\u0103lcate \u0219i ne sim\u021bim r\u0103ni\u021bi, dezam\u0103gi\u021bi, furio\u0219i.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Strategii de gestionare a furiei<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Testarea g\u00e2ndurilor furioase<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00e2nd suntem furio\u0219i \u0219i furia ne afecteaz\u0103 rela\u021biile \u0219i ne creeaz\u0103 probleme, este necesar s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m s\u0103 examin\u0103m g\u00e2ndurile furioase \u0219i s\u0103 vedem dac\u0103 exist\u0103 o alt\u0103 modalitate de a ne g\u00e2ndi la situa\u021bia respectiv\u0103.(vezi Fi\u0219a de \u00eenregistrare a g\u00e2ndurilor pe www seliproject.eu \u2013 resurse).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00e2nd suntem furio\u0219i, avem tendin\u021ba s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem gre\u0219it \u0219i s\u0103 interpret\u0103m gre\u0219it inten\u021biile celorlal\u021bi. Avem tendin\u021ba de a interpreta \u00een mod personal \u0219i negativ. De exemplu, credem c\u0103 ne trateaz\u0103 r\u0103u, sau se folosesc de noi inten\u021bionat pentru c\u0103 ne desconsider\u0103. Este nevoie s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b\u0103m:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>&nbsp;S\u0103 interpret\u0103m ac\u021biunile altora mai pu\u021bin personal,<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 \u021binem cont de inten\u021biile celorlal\u021bi \u00eentr-un mod mai amabil<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 privim situa\u021biile din diferite perspective.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">C\u00e2nd ne \u00eenfuriem, \u00eei etichet\u0103m deseori pe ceilal\u021bi, iar etichetele devin limit\u0103ri care ne \u00eempiedic\u0103 s\u0103 privim inten\u021biile celorlal\u021bi \u00eentr-un mod flexibil. G\u00e2ndurile furioase \u00eei limiteaz\u0103 deseori pe oameni. Dac\u0103 eticheta\u021bi sau judeca\u021bi \u00een mod constant pe cineva din via\u021ba voastr\u0103, atunci e un semn c\u0103 v-a\u021bi format deja o impresie limitat\u0103 despre persoana respectiv\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Pentru a atenua furia este necesar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>S\u0103 con\u0219tientiz\u0103m problemele care ne  declan\u0219eaz\u0103 \u201eButonul fierbinte\u201d<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 observ\u0103m impar\u021bial situa\u021bia pentru a ob\u021bine mai multe informa\u021bii.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 test\u0103m presupozi\u021biile privind inten\u021biile celorlal\u021bi.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 ne str\u0103duim s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem ac\u021biunile celorlal\u021bi \u00een moduri noi, diferite.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Utilizarea imaginilor pentru anticiparea \u0219i preg\u0103tirea pentru evenimente care ar putea s\u0103 ne \u00eenfurie<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Imagineaz\u0103-\u021bi c\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Spui ceea ce dore\u0219ti<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>C\u0103 ob\u021bii reac\u021bia la care speri<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>C\u0103 gestionezi cu calm problemele care ar putea ap\u0103rea<strong>.<\/strong><\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>C\u0103 e\u0219ti eficient \u0219i relaxat \u00eentr-o situa\u021bie stresant\u0103 cu risc sporit de a te \u00eenfuria<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Construie\u0219te o imagine ideal\u0103 a modului \u00een care dore\u0219ti s\u0103 reac\u021bionezi<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Planific\u0103, noteaz\u0103, exerseaz\u0103 exact ce vrei s\u0103 spui.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Recunoa\u0219terea semnelor timpurii ale furiei<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Semnele fizice \u0219i fiziologice ale furiei sunt: tremuratul, tensiunea muscular\u0103, maxilar \u00eencle\u0219tat, afirmarea unor lucruri neadev\u0103rate, presiune \u00een zona pieptului, tonul ridicat, \u00eencle\u0219tarea pumnilor, etc. este \u00een regul\u0103 s\u0103 te enervezi \u00eentr-o oarecare m\u0103sur\u0103, dar c\u00e2nd \u00ee\u021bi dai seama c\u0103 te \u00eendrep\u021bi spre un nivel distructiv al furiei, acord\u0103-\u021bi o clip\u0103 pentru a-\u021bi aminti op\u021biunile de care dispui:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>S\u0103 fii furios<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 faci o pauz\u0103<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 fii mai asertiv.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Pauzele<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00censeamn\u0103 a te retrage din situa\u021bia respectiv\u0103 c\u00e2nd semnele timpurii indic\u0103 faptul c\u0103 po\u021bi sc\u0103pa furia de sub control<strong>. <\/strong>Aminte\u0219te-\u021bi care sunt lucrurile importante pentru tine \u0219i ce anume \u00eencerci s\u0103 realizezi. Pauza este pentru:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>A te regrupa<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A elabora o strategie nu pentru a evita o situa\u021bie, ci pentru abordarea situa\u021biei dintr-un alt punct de vedere \u0219i lu\u00eend-o de la cap\u0103t.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A te relaxa<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A te odihni.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Practic\u0103 exerci\u021bii de relaxare!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Asertivitatea<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Asertivitatea este calea de mijloc \u00eentre a fi agresiv \u0219i a le permite cu pasivitate altora s\u0103 profite de tine.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dac\u0103:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" style=\"list-style-type:lower-alpha\">\n<li>E\u0219ti agresiv, atunci ataci, jigne\u0219ti, r\u0103ne\u0219ti<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>E\u0219ti pasiv, atunci al\u021bii te atac\u0103, te jignesc, te r\u0103nesc.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>E\u0219ti asertiv, atunci \u00ee\u021bi sus\u021bii p\u0103rerea f\u0103r\u0103 a-i ataca pe ceilal\u021bi.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Asertivitatea:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Presupune s\u0103 ne exprim\u0103m dorin\u021bele \u0219i nevoile \u00eentr-un mod direct, f\u0103r\u0103 echivoc.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Reduce frecven\u021ba cu care ne sim\u021bim trata\u021bi pe nedrept sau c\u0103 ceilal\u021bi profit\u0103 de noi.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Previne declan\u0219area furiei.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ofer\u0103 sentimentul c\u0103 de\u021binem controlul asupra vie\u021bii noastre.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>4 strategii pentru reac\u021bii asertive<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" style=\"list-style-type:1\">\n<li>Folose\u0219te afirma\u021bii care se refer\u0103 la tine.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Recunoa\u0219te orice afirma\u021bie din nemul\u021bumirile celuilalt, dar sus\u021bine-\u021bi dreptul.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Exprim\u0103-\u021bi dorin\u021bele \u0219i nevoile \u00een propozi\u021bii simple \u0219i clare, nu a\u0219tepta ca cel\u0103lalt s\u0103-\u021bi citeasc\u0103 g\u00e2ndurile sau s\u0103 anticipeze ce vrei.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Concentreaz\u0103-te pe asertivitate, nu pe rezultate.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li><strong>Iertarea<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Iertarea ne poate ajuta s\u0103 renun\u021b\u0103m la furie \u0219i la suferin\u021b\u0103; \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 ne u\u0219ur\u0103m de povara furiei. Iertarea nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 trecem cu vederea faptele celeilalte persoane, ci s\u0103 le privim \u00eentr-un mod diferit. Iertarea \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103-i acorzi celuilalt circumstan\u021be atenuante. De exemplu, ai putea s\u0103-\u021bi spui c\u0103 persoana care te-a r\u0103nit este ea \u00eens\u0103\u0219i tulburat\u0103 sau c\u0103 are propriile probleme pe care s\u0103 le rezolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Dac\u0103<\/strong> decidem s\u0103 nu iert\u0103m pe cineva(ceea ce este uneori absolut de \u00een\u021beles), <strong>atunci<\/strong> sunt necesare alte modalit\u0103\u021bi de a renun\u021ba la furie:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" style=\"list-style-type:lower-alpha\">\n<li>Acceptarea faptului c\u0103 persoana respectiv\u0103 este abuziv\u0103.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 ne clarific\u0103m c\u0103 nu suntem vinova\u021bi sau care este partea noastr\u0103 de contribu\u021bie, de responsabilitate din rela\u021bia respectiv\u0103.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>S\u0103 g\u0103sim modalit\u0103\u021bi de a ne proteja de viitoare abuzuri din partea acelei persoane sau a altora(de exemplu Planul de ac\u021biune privind reducerea furiei (vezi www seliproject.eu &#8211; resurse).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Dac\u0103 decidem s\u0103 iert\u0103m pe cineva, atunci:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" style=\"list-style-type:lower-alpha\">\n<li>Nici m\u0103car nu trebuie s\u0103-i spunem c\u0103 o iert\u0103m. Putem face un ritual de iertare exprimat verbal, sau<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Putem compune o scrisoare de iertare \u00een care s\u0103 descriem cum anume ne-a r\u0103nit, pentru a-i ajuta s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleag\u0103 de ce suntem furio\u0219i (vezi www seliproject.eu&nbsp; &#8211; resurse).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">NB:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\" style=\"list-style-type:lower-alpha\">\n<li>scrisoarea nu se expediaz\u0103!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Nu te g\u00e2ndi cum ar reac\u021biona cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103 dac\u0103 ar citi vreodat\u0103 scrisoarea!<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Scrisoarea de iertare este pentru tine, nu pentru cel pe care \u00eel ier\u021bi!(vezi Fi\u0219a de lucru \u201eCompunerea unei scrisori de iertare pe www seliproject.eu \u2013 resurse).<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li><strong>Terapia de cuplu sau de familie<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Furia este un sentiment care ne face deseori s\u0103 \u00eei atac\u0103m \u0219i s\u0103 \u00eei r\u0103nim pe ceilal\u021bi. Furia este \u00eenso\u021bit\u0103 de schimb\u0103ri la: *nivel corporal(reac\u021bii fizice \u2013 c\u00e2nd suntem furio\u0219i corpul nostru se mobilizeaz\u0103 pentru ap\u0103rare sau atac). &nbsp;* nivelul <a href=\"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/2022\/12\/12\/ghid-de-gestionare-a-furiei\/\" class=\"read-more\">Read More &#8230;<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-150","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=150"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":310,"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/150\/revisions\/310"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=150"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=150"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/seliproject.eu\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=150"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}